i

After my father died

I tried to die too

And I’ve failed myself each time

I know, that makes me terrible at dying

 

ii

But there is nothing more decaying than

Watching my heart devour itself and give up on me

Watching strength slowly climb down my feet

My own neck, in the hands of my own mind

I am ready, again

To cross the bar

I am ready, again

To feed condolences

Into the mouth of tomorrow

 

iii

And it kills me to know

That if I were the one to die

My father

Would have crossed the bar with me

 

iv

Yet I ask

What good is love in the grave

What good is love if it has no where left to go

 

v

Sometimes

God takes

More than he gives